Bear and Forbear
A sympathetic understanding of the trials of other people is essential for getting along.
1871
A sympathetic understanding of the trials of other people is essential for getting along.
1871
In his motivational book Character (1871), Samuel Smiles reminded us that getting along with others requires a willingness to pass over their weaknesses, faults and occasional offences, and gave the example of Queen Caroline Matilda of Denmark and Britain, sister of King George III.
NOR will the wise man expect too much from those about him. If he would live at peace with others, he will bear and forbear. And even the best have often foibles of character which have to be endured, sympathised with, and perhaps pitied.
Who is perfect? Who does not suffer from some thorn in the flesh?* Who does not stand in need of toleration, of forbearance, of forgiveness? What the poor imprisoned Queen Caroline Matilda of Denmark wrote on her chapel-window ought to be the prayer of all, — “Oh! keep me innocent! make others great.”*
Then, how much does the disposition of every human being depend upon their innate constitution and their early surroundings; the comfort or discomfort of the homes in which they have been brought up; their inherited characteristics; and the examples, good or bad, to which they have been exposed through life! Regard for such considerations should teach charity and forbearance to all men.
That is, some perpetual annoyance or trial. See 2 Corinthians 12:7. According to St John Chrysostom (?349-407), Archbishop of Constantinople, St Paul’s ‘thorn in the flesh’ was they way that enemies prevented the Gospel from spreading, something which taught him humility.
Caroline Matilda (1751-1775), a daughter of Frederick, Prince of Wales, was the sister of King George III (r. 1760-1820). In 1766 she was married by proxy to King Christian VII of Denmark, who disliked her and treated her coldly, spending his time in brothels. Caroline had an affair, was briefly imprisoned, and finally divorced in 1772. She was banished to Hanover where she was never allowed to see her children again, and died there aged just twenty-three.
1. What is the author aiming to achieve in writing this?
2. Note any words, devices or turns of phrase that strike you. How do they help the author communicate his ideas more effectively?
3. What impression does this passage make on you? How might you put that impression into words?
Based on The English Critic (1939) by NL Clay, drawing on The New Criticism: A Lecture Delivered at Columbia University, March 9, 1910, by J. E. Spingarn, Professor of Comparative Literature in Columbia University, USA.
Suggest answers to this question. See if you can limit one answer to exactly seven words.
What does Smiles believe is the key to living in peace with others?
The willingness to forgive slights and foibles.
Express the ideas below in a single sentence, using different words as much as possible. Do not be satisfied with the first answer you think of; think of several, and choose the best.
Caroline had an affair. She was imprisoned. Smiles felt sympathy for her.