Believe Me

A loving parent doesn’t want her son to be a success; she wants him to be a fine human being.

1878

Queen Victoria 1837-1901 Alexander II, Emperor of Russia 1855-1881

Introduction

In February 1878, Fyodor Dostoevsky received a letter from an anxious mother asking him how to bring up a child. Dostoevsky was taken aback, and told her plainly that she was requiring more wisdom than he was fit to give. In particular, her question “What is good, and what is not good?” left him almost speechless; fortunately for us, that left just enough speech to impart this touching counsel.

by Fyodor Dostoevsky 1821-1881

Petersburg,*
March 27, 1878.

Every human being, who can grasp the truth at all, feels in his conscience what is good and what is evil. Be good, and let your child realize that you are good; in that way you will wholly fulfil your duty towards your child, for you will thus give him the immediate conviction that people ought to be good. Believe me, it is so. Your child will then cherish your memory all his life with great reverence, it may be often with deep emotion as well.

And even if you do something wrong, that is, something frivolous, morbid, or even absurd, your child will sooner or later forget all about it, and remember only the good things. Mark me: in general, you can do no more than this for your child. And it is really more than enough. The memory of our parents’ good qualities, of their love of truth, their rectitude, their goodness of heart, of their freedom from false shame and their constant reluctance to deceive, all this will sooner or later make a new creature of your child: believe me. And do not think that this is a small thing. When we graft a tiny twig on a great tree, we alter all the fruits of the tree thereby.

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* St Petersburg in northwest Russia had been the capital of the Tsardom of Russia since 1710, and of the Russian Empire since 1721. Dostoevsky was born in Moscow, but in 1837 his father sent him to study at the Military Engineering Institute in St Petersburg, and after he graduated in 1843 the city remained his home. A year later, he gave up engineering to become a writer. In 1849, he was sentenced to execution for sedition, and although he was sensationally reprieved even as he stood before the firing squad, he was banished to Siberia. He returned to the city in 1859 and continued writing, but much of his work was done at his summer dacha in Staraya Russa, near Veliky Novgorod.

Précis

In 1878, a mother asked Fyodor Dostoevsky for advice on bringing up children with a sense of right and wrong. He told her that all any parent could do was to set a good example. Even if she occasionally slipped up, her son would remember her goodness and forget her failings, and his character would take after hers.

Sevens

Suggest answers to this question. See if you can limit one answer to exactly seven words.

What did Dostoevsky recommend the anxious mother to do for her son?

Suggestion

Set him a lasting example of goodness.

Jigsaws

Express the ideas below in a single sentence, using different words as much as possible. Do not be satisfied with the first answer you think of; think of several, and choose the best.

You want others to be good. Be good yourself. You can do no more.

See if you can include one or more of these words in your answer.

IExample. IIIf. IIIMost.

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