On Falling in Love
Shortly after meeting Fanny Osbourne, Robert Louis Stevenson reflected on the different ways in which falling in love affects a man.
1895
Shortly after meeting Fanny Osbourne, Robert Louis Stevenson reflected on the different ways in which falling in love affects a man.
1895
In 1876, Robert Louis Stevenson, who was in France for his health, met Fanny Osbourne, an American who was estranged from her serially unfaithful husband, and supporting herself and her two children by writing. For much of the following year Robert remained in France with Fanny, Isobel and Lloyd, and in 1877 published an essay titled ‘On Falling in Love’ in The Cornhill Magazine.
abridged
IT is by no means in the way of every one to fall in love. As for the innumerable army of anaemic and tailorish persons who occupy the face of this planet with so much propriety, it is palpably absurd to imagine them in any such situation as a love-affair. A wet rag goes safely by the fire; and if a man is blind, he cannot expect to be much impressed by romantic scenery.
Apart from all this, many lovable people miss each other in the world, or meet under some unfavourable star. There is the nice and critical moment of declaration to be got over. From timidity or lack of opportunity a good half of possible love cases never get so far, and at least another quarter do there cease and determine.* A very adroit person, to be sure, manages to prepare the way and out with his declaration in the nick of time. And then there is a fine solid sort of man, who goes on from snub to snub; and if he has to declare forty times, will continue imperturbably declaring, amid the astonished consideration of men and angels, until he has a favourable answer.*
* A legal phrase meaning ‘stop,’ where ‘determine’ is related to ‘terminate.’ Stevenson had legal training, though he never practised at the Bar.
* To her regret Elizabeth Bennet, in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (1813), knew such a man. “‘I am not now to learn,’ replied Mr Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, ‘that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.’”