Short Shrift

Kenneth II, tenth-century King of Scots, once cracked a joke about Edgar, King of England, being on the short side. He very soon wished he hadn’t.

?971-?975

King Edgar 959-975

Introduction

King Edgar, who ruled England from 959-975, was a mighty lord and warrior. Every year he patrolled the coastline of Great Britain in three large fleets, and travelled through the land to hear grievances and mete out justice to evil-doers. He garnered the nickname ‘the Peaceful’ from a grateful public, but there was one sure way to get him all worked up: call him Shorty.

AT a certain banquet, where the prating of coxcombs generally shows itself very freely, it is reported that Kenneth,* king of the Scots, said in a sportive manner, that it seemed extraordinary to him how so many provinces should be subject to such a sorry little fellow.* This was caught up with malignant ear by a certain minstrel, and afterwards cast in Edgar’s teeth, with the customary raillery of such people. But he, concealing the circumstance from his friends, sent for Kenneth, as if to consult him on some secret matter of importance, and leading him aside far into the recesses of a wood, he gave him one of two swords, which he had brought with him.

“Now,” said he, “as we are alone, I shall have an opportunity of proving your strength; I will now make it appear which ought deservedly to command the other; nor shall you stir a foot till you try the matter with me, for it is disgraceful in a king to prate at a banquet, and not to be prompt in action.” Confused, and not daring to utter a word, he fell at the feet of his sovereign lord, and asked pardon for what was merely a joke; which he immediately obtained.

From ‘William of Malmesbury’s Chronicle of the Kings of England’ translated (1847) by J. A. Giles. Slightly emended.

* Kenneth II, King of Scots (r. 971-975).

* Kenneth was speaking from humiliating experience. In 973, he and five (or maybe seven) other client kings from Scotland and Wales had been obliged to row their English lord and master, seated comfortably at the tiller, up the River Dee from his palace in Chester to the Monastery of St John the Baptist, in full view of cheering English crowds. See Edgar and the Ship of Kings.

Précis
Kenneth II of Scotland, so the twelfth-century chronicler William of Malmesbury tells us, once commented drily how incongruous it was that the diminutive King Edgar should rule so vast a realm as England. When it came to Edgar’s attention, he led the unsuspecting Kenneth into a deserted wood and challenged him to a duel. Kenneth apologised, and the matter closed.
Questions for Critics

1. What is the author aiming to achieve in writing this?

2. Note any words, devices or turns of phrase that strike you. How do they help the author communicate his ideas more effectively?

3. What impression does this passage make on you? How might you put that impression into words?

Based on The English Critic (1939) by NL Clay, drawing on The New Criticism: A Lecture Delivered at Columbia University, March 9, 1910, by J. E. Spingarn, Professor of Comparative Literature in Columbia University, USA.

Jigsaws

Express the ideas below in a single sentence, using different words as much as possible. Do not be satisfied with the first answer you think of; think of several, and choose the best.

Edgar was a short man. He ruled a very large kingdom. Kenneth said it was incongruous.

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